Day 1

I've been on lupron for 10 days, so technically tonight isn't the first night. They aren't kidding when they say long protocol! 

The goods: 375 IUs Follistim, 5 IUs Lupron, 75 IUs Menopur 

It was still hard. It can be so overwhelming to excuse yourself from the middle of making dinner, then spend 15 mins checking, prepping and rechecking doses. Three injections a night is no joke and tonight was my first night taking folistim - scary injection pen that makes a clicking noise as you push down on a plunger on the opposite end of the needle stuck into your belly. Luckily my awesome husband knows the drill and left the meatballs simmering to come help me prep. He was my pharmacist for the first cycle and has become a pro at mixing up my menopur. 

I keep having this feeling that it's so much - too much - to put myself through. I feel that to my core. I don't actually believe in doing this to my body. Taking so many meds to force it into compliance and submission. I think the joke is on me. IVF doesn't have even close to a 100% effective rate, so who am I fooling here? Then again, if IVF was a surefire way to get pregnant, I'd inject my eyeballs three times each night.

The photos below are just to keep it real. Even if it works, it's not all hearts and flowers. This better work damn it!

Went through a vein last night. First time that happened. I felt it immediately and it bruised before I was done with the injection. Ouch!

This is my very attractive method for not injecting myself in the same place night after night. Last cycle was twelve days. Ugh!