Saturday, March 12, 2011

Who invited this bitch anyway?!

This is an open letter to Aunt Flow:
Dear AF,

I don't know how to put this gently, so I'm just going to come right out and say it.  You are unwelcome here.  In fact, I can't stand the sight of you.  I greatly appreciate that you've been so reliable and consistent, only showing up early or late on a few occasions, but I don't want to see you again for a very, very long time.  The truth is I wasn't happy the first time you came around when I was in 5th grade and had no idea what to do with you.  I spent several years hating you and all the baggage you brought, the cramps, the irritability, the bloating.  In fact, I can't think of a single person who enjoys your company.  You have been known to ruin vacations, dates, clothes, baby hopes and a million other things.  Just who do you think you are?!  I strongly suggest you get packing.  Get out of here and don't look back.  This year is my year and I don't want to see your Aggravating Face again until at least 2012. 
One angry (temporary) infertile
I'm still hateful, but I feel a little better.  It was no surprise to start my period, but that doesn't make it feel any less craptastik.

A reminder to myself and anyone else in need.

My list of things to do on cycle day numero uno:
  • dress in grandma panties and yoga pants 
  • enjoy an unhealthy breakfast (chorizo omelet with papas and cinnimon tea)
  • go see a movie with Michael, so I can escape my life for two hours
  • (enjoy a nice helping of bin candy at said movie-full of childish candies, like gummy bears)
  • I might even have a GIANT vanilla latte sometime today, because I can
  • before bed I WILL go running, so I don't hate myself in the morning


  1. I'll sign the bottom of that letter too!

  2. Aww, I'm sorry she came. But I'm glad you're spoiling yourself, you deserve it.

  3. I'm enjoying the testiness of your blog. It's ironic that I just read this post given that my period started today for the first time in two years. YAY...