Saturday, March 12, 2011

Who invited this bitch anyway?!

This is an open letter to Aunt Flow:
Dear AF,

I don't know how to put this gently, so I'm just going to come right out and say it.  You are unwelcome here.  In fact, I can't stand the sight of you.  I greatly appreciate that you've been so reliable and consistent, only showing up early or late on a few occasions, but I don't want to see you again for a very, very long time.  The truth is I wasn't happy the first time you came around when I was in 5th grade and had no idea what to do with you.  I spent several years hating you and all the baggage you brought, the cramps, the irritability, the bloating.  In fact, I can't think of a single person who enjoys your company.  You have been known to ruin vacations, dates, clothes, baby hopes and a million other things.  Just who do you think you are?!  I strongly suggest you get packing.  Get out of here and don't look back.  This year is my year and I don't want to see your Aggravating Face again until at least 2012. 
Sincerely, 
One angry (temporary) infertile
I'm still hateful, but I feel a little better.  It was no surprise to start my period, but that doesn't make it feel any less craptastik.

A reminder to myself and anyone else in need.

My list of things to do on cycle day numero uno:
  • dress in grandma panties and yoga pants 
  • enjoy an unhealthy breakfast (chorizo omelet with papas and cinnimon tea)
  • go see a movie with Michael, so I can escape my life for two hours
  • (enjoy a nice helping of bin candy at said movie-full of childish candies, like gummy bears)
  • I might even have a GIANT vanilla latte sometime today, because I can
  • before bed I WILL go running, so I don't hate myself in the morning

4 comments:

  1. I'll sign the bottom of that letter too!

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  2. Aww, I'm sorry she came. But I'm glad you're spoiling yourself, you deserve it.

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  3. I'm enjoying the testiness of your blog. It's ironic that I just read this post given that my period started today for the first time in two years. YAY...

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